SOS! Research Help Needed

May 12, 2010 — 16 Comments

Meet Berta Mae, Research Cow Extraordinaire

I’ve been thinking a lot (watch out!)

Besides thinking I’ve been researching.

I’ve been researching women’s friendships & what makes them work. STOP: Can I call us girlfriends, without anybody getting any weird ideas? Girls who are friends is the subject. Now that that’s settled…

I talked briefly about how one woman’s kindness impacted me last week on The Friend Ship

Yes, we are all moms. But we were first women.

And at our very core, women, we need each other’s friendship.

I believe we lead better lives when we go through it with our girlfriends!

I can read articles all day via my Google University Research Studies, but not get real answers.

So, I need your help! Over the next few days/weeks, (however long it takes me) I’ll be asking a few questions about girlfriends and how we relate to & bless each other and how we can bug the crap out of each other.

Here goes…

1. What’s one thing a girlfriend does that strengthen/deepens your relationship with her?

on the opposite side of that coin

2. What’s one thing that weakens a relationship with a girlfriend?

I look forward to hearing multiple perspectives on this subject of girlfriends. While I think an open forum is beneficial, if you feel more comfortable emailing me privately, please do so.

Oh! I almost forgot to introduce you to my research cow, Berta Mae. Seriously, she’s the best researcher ever. She finds what I need, chews on it and spits it back out just the way I like it! Whenever you see Berta Mae on a post, you know research questions are sure to follow!

I have a warped sense of humor. 🙂

Shine On Sisters!!!

daniellebrower

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...daughter of the King, wife and mother ~ danielle believes all christians are missionaries; we're called to love Jesus and share that love through active compassion that brings tangible & eternal change in the lives of those we touch. no one should live more proactive, more giving, more sacrificial lives than those that claim to know Christ. time to remove the blinders & excuses and let the love of Christ flow through us.

16 responses to SOS! Research Help Needed

  1. Love this!! 🙂

    1. What’s one thing a girlfriend does that strengthen/deepens your relationship with her?

    A: Seeing how she reacts with integrity during the seemingly insignificant things in life and knowing you can trust your heart with her when it really matters the most.

    2. What’s one thing that weakens a relationship with a girlfriend?

    A: When you share something in private and later find out everyone else knows about it because she talked about you to everyone under the moon. (heart breaking)

  2. Phyllis Smith May 12, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    1; Listens
    2. Judges

  3. Melissa Brendemuhl May 12, 2010 at 10:08 pm

    your right phyllis too funny, for everyone else my answers were
    1. Listens in the tough times
    2. Judgemental

  4. Debbie Strege May 13, 2010 at 8:35 am

    Chew on this Berta Mae:

    1. When she is willing to drop everything and be by your side when you need her (ie. my neighbor, Trish, at the sudden death of our guinea pig…only a true friend will hug you when you are sobbing and haven’t showered or brushed your teeth for the day!)

    2. An unfair balance of favors. I, as a SAHM with a traveling husband, ask a lot of favors. If someone asks me a favor I will do everything I can to fulfill that favor and we usually have a great reciprocal relationship. I try to keep the favors balanced so neither of us feels like we are being taken advantage of by the other.

  5. Great questions! I’ve been thinking about my answers all day.

    I agree with everything said so far and my answers probably aren’t too far different.

    1. Sharing of themselves, listening, doing fun things together.

    2. A friend repeatedly not doing what they said they were going to do. We have busy lives, etc., and things happen, but if I am constantly ditched in favor of other things, I will emotionally check out of the relationship.

  6. 1. They show effort to know/understand/accept me.

    2. A friend who is fraudulent – a “frenemy”.

  7. 1. tells me the truth even if I don’t want to hear it
    2. lies even if I want to hear them

  8. Thank you ladies for great feedback that Berta Mae & I can chew on! I love hearing/seeing other perspectives on what makes a friendship work (and what doesn’t!). I’ll be posting further research questions soon. Watch for Berta Mae’s picture! Thanks again, friends!

    Danielle

  9. Great blog. Just found you via the A-list bloggers club and saw you chatting on the webinar. Love what your blog is all about. Very inspiring and sassy.

    Research answers:
    1. supports me even when I’m going off on one of my tangents
    2. talks negative talk about her husband, life, aging, blah, blah…

    • Katie! Nice to meet you! Thanks for the encouragement and I love your research answers. Your ‘negative’ answer would absolutely be my answer as well. There’s a fine line of be allowed to vent and being negative about life in general. Let’s determine to be positive listeners and maybe it’ll rub off on our friends! LOL!

      Isn’t the Bloggers Club incredible? I was surprised how willing everyone was to share their own experiences & what has worked for them. Looking forward to getting to know you better! What’s your blog address?

  10. Deepens a relationship: listens well (and, like Deborah says) lets me know when she thinks it’s BS.
    Weakens: doesn’t have the ability to laugh with me about my mistakes!

  11. Hey Danielle,

    My blog is http://www.momentumgathering.com. If you click on my name in your comments (or on anyone else’s name – as long as they filled out a URL when they commented), you’ll find a link to it as well.

    Cheers and happy blogging!

  12. Answer 1: gives of herself and her time, listens without judgment and will tell you the truth – even if it hurts!

    Answer 2: anything other than Answer 1;o)

    ~Suzanne

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