See, I have a gift. A. Very. Special. Gift. Actually, I see it as raw vulnerability & authenticity.
That I can’t seem to control.
Even when I want to…
See, while I don’t do small talk, and I thrive on seeing others live out their potential… Sometimes being REAL with my passionate gifts well um, leads me astray from what may be considered… common sense.
Sometimes this ‘gift’ serves me really well. Orphaned kids around the world need a safe haven, education & an opportunity to hear about Jesus? How can I help? It’ll cost around $35K? Oh okay, no problem! My friends & our online connect community through Children’s HopeChest are simply THE MOST generous people in the world. $35K In six weeks? Cool! God can do that!!! (and HE did!)
But this gift of authenticity & vulnerability has also gotten me in more than a few pickles over the years. Don’t believe me?
maybe I shouldn’t tell you about the time…
… I went to Red Lobster with some girlfriends. I really wanted to order shrimp cocktail, but having never had alcohol, I just had to make sure. “I would like shrimp cocktail, please, virgin shrimp cocktail.”
Yes. I did.
I remember actually being proud of myself for a split second. I mean, hey I didn’t have to say nonalcoholic – I was totally cool because I knew to say ‘virgin’. My girlfriends were so kind, they stopped giggling about an hour later.
and maybe I shouldn’t tell you about…
… my mom’s favorite story to tell over and over. and over again… (well it’s a close 2nd to me being born 11.1lbs). When I moved from home at 18 for college, I did not know how to boil water. And I proved it by calling her to ask, ‘Soooo how do I know when the water is boiling? I wanna make mac & cheese.” I’ll never live that one down, will I, Mom?
Yes, I lived a very sheltered childhood existence in the backwoods of Kentucky.
Oh dear, I wish I could say I’ve matured. But this gift, y’all, it just keeps on giving!!!
About 6 months ago, while shopping at Sam’s Club, I went for the eggs at the same time as a fellow shopper did. Unfortunately, there were only a few cartons left to choose from. It wasn’t until he said, “No, you go ahead.” that I noticed his um, ruggedly handsome good looks. I’ll refer to him as SAL (Scruffy Adam Levine). It was that moment that I turned into a 14 year old girl, flipped my hair and subconsciously decided to be charming, “Well thanks! Looks like all the chickens went on strike, right? hehehehehehe”
He flashed his brighty-whiteys and said ‘Yep!’
you know, in a non-adulterous way, cuz I love my hot hubby. See picture below.
I turned around, put my eggs in the cart & we departed ways. I honestly thought I was so clever. I mean I love talking to strangers! Can I help it that the guy in the egg aisle is a cutie-patootie? I don’t discriminate; even if SAL was kinda/sorta/alotta handsome. I had merely been friendly. I can’t help it. I’m Southern.
I pushed the cart into the next aisle, looking waaaaaay too happy to be shopping, I’m sure. I was shocked when 90 seconds later that same guy started to walk up to me. Gulp, I wonder what he wants. Uh-oh, he’s a creeper. Oh no! A creeper! I’m such a dork. Why oh why did I have to be so charming!?!?
As my heart began to race, SAL got a little too close & quietly spoke surely to save me from impending embarrassment,
For real. I subconsciously stole his cart.
Yes, I did.
While all the blood drained from my face… all I could muster was a jumble of words that included “this is one of the most embarrassing moments of my life… I’m sorry…” and something else I don’t even remember but I’m sure was very eloquently stated.
I grabbed my eggs out of his cart as quick as I could. Sure enough, my walk of shame led me to the end of the last aisle where my beast of a cart sat smiling, just waiting to humiliate me. I had left my cart at the end of the last aisle, like I always do when I have to grab something quick… I mean, Sam’s Club. Those carts are Beasts when they are full! I just wish I had remembered it before I decided to be so Southern.
When I told my husband this story (doesn’t matter that it was a few weeks later), he shook his head, not even shocked that it happened because well he’s grown used to me embarrassing myself in front of random strangers… and his family… and the internet.
Yep. I’ve got a real gift, people. My gift of authenticity & vulnerability has followed me all the days of my life… even to the point of being accidentally drunk (hey, it was the Chinese guy’s fault). But alas, I believe I’ve shared enough of my gift with you today. 🙂
What are your gifts? Have they ever gotten you into a REAL pickle? Do they reveal both the best of you & well, the not-so-best? There should be no shame, for these are the gifts that make you unique.
Whoever you are, BE FULLY YOU! No one else can do it like you. Recognize your gifts, learn to love your quirks & embrace your vulnerabilities. In other words, celebrate the glorious creature that you are and…